Dear Timepassages2070:

I am glad to read from you again. Your recent post is about a missing piece. It is as if you have a jigsaw puzzle that you have put together and missing one piece, you can’t stop looking for it, thinking what it might be.

The missing piece of the jigsaw picture is in between two piece: the piece to the left is her contacting you after a few days of you not calling/ texting you, and the piece to the right is her being okay with not talking to you for five months. Between these two pieces is the missing piece: something pretty significant that happened in her mind/heart/ life.

“I still think there is a missing ‘piece’ here… clearly something pretty significant changed with her.. I am sure at some point I will have some answers”-

– she offered you a possible missing piece for the puzzle when she told you that “for the past several months almost all  of her focus has been on her kids and her new business. She said she has not really been communicating with anyone”, but you don’t believe that what she offered you is the missing piece.

The missing piece you are looking for/ obsessed with is one that indicates, or provides evidence that to her, you are not a temporary emotional placeholder, but instead- a permanent emotional bond: “I think what triggered me here with B is that while I was viewing us as bonding.. to her I was more of a temporary ‘Emotional Placeholder'” (Jan 5).

anita