Hi Janet,

Your post hit home for me. I totally remember feeling that exact same way in my early twenties, like, I was behind everyone else or something. It got to the point where I felt like I’d expired and no one would would ever  like me ever. It’s not easy to have these feelings in quarantine when you can do nothing about it.

So, my idea for you is to plan to do something about it the MOMENT we get out of this covid mess. Because we will be back in the world eventually, and I think for you, maybe your thinking needs to change. I mean, come on. Some of the most unattractive people are happily in love. I don’t say that to sound snarky, but just to say that finding someone isn’t just about looks.

First, once we get out of covid,  I think you need to get new friends. I realize this may be easier said than done. But, you are who you associate with.  And if among your friends you’re the one who will be single forever, or the most unattractive, or whatever negative thoughts your friends have about you–FIND NEW FRIENDS. You sound like a put-together, educated, confident woman.   So why not get friends that see you as that, and not as the future cat lady.

Secondly, do you drink or smoke pot?  NOT to lure you into vices, but…. are you also into going to bars or clubs, or anywhere where you could hang out with cute boys with your new friends?  One of the great things about being in an altered state–even mildly–is that our inhibitions and the stories  we tell ourselves (and they are just that – STORIES, not truth)  sort of fade out. And we become someone totally different. And that’s kind of nice. Even just for one night. So why not make a plan to go out one night to make out with a cute boy?  Just for practice. Unless you want your first kiss to be special. (I kind of abandoned the that and just wanted to get it over with)

Thirdly, buy a new outfit. Something that accentuates the best parts of your figure–everyone has them.  Buy something those snobby girls you’re friends with would wear, but that you wouldn’t because “it’s just not you”.  I think you need to change your perception of yourself. You need to feel cute. Because once you feel cute, boys will think you ARE cute. Sadly, they’re really not complicated 🙂

I know being alone, when we’re all alone in quarantine can just be a lot. But don’t worry about it. And don’t overthink things. Like I said, MAKE A PLAN!  And just know that nothing is wrong with you. Nothing at all.  Everyone has stuff they’re dealing with, just like you. They’re just hiding it.

When I was your age, in an effort to catch up to “everyone”, I started an office relationship with a guy who looked like the Hamburglar. Again, not to be snarky, BUT, I totally got myself into a situation I shouldn’t have been in, and it just wasn’t worth it.

Cheers to a brighter life, girl, post covid!

Sending you happy vibes 🙂

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