Dear noname:

It is definitely unhealthy to suppress emotions. On the other hand, it is also unhealthy to hold on to and prolong the experience of emotional pain.

“when I notice myself about to cry or feel overwhelmed with emotion… I digest it… (I) sit with it, listen to what the emotion is trying to tell me, wait (and breathe) until it had passed. Are you saying that is not helpful?”-

– you are the one to judge, of course, about what is helpful to you and what is not helpful. I am not clear about what you mean by the parts I italicized, can you explain those parts to me: what it is that you are thinking, feeling and/ or doing at the times when you digest an emotion and listen to it?

“Being in relationships feels dangerous to my survival in the sense that if a breakup occurs-> I’m an emotional wreck-> I can’t do my job-> I don’t get paid-> I don’t survive”-

– this laying out of your fear has your adult thinking in it, but the Fear was born when you were a child, before you ever had a job and before you had to pay bills. If/ when you want to, come up with a layout/ description of your early-life (and ongoing) fear of emotional attachment and of separation from/ abandonment by your object/s of attachment.

anita