Dear Ryan:

“I am hopeful that we can really communicate after dinner… I am curious if she sees anything beyond just a casual friendship… perhaps the age difference between us was something she was not comfortable explaining to her parents. I don’t know. I maintain that there was something there between us…I’d like to know if she saw and read my email to her last week. I’d like to get to know her on a deeper level, and have a real and genuine friendship, but I don’t know if she truly wants that”-

– I suggest the following: (1) don’t ask her over dinner or after dinner about the email you sent her last week because it was too long and too elaborate to discuss in the context of dinner or after dinner. (To adequately respond to your email, it would take a couple of hours of uninterrupted work, at the least).

(2) Tell her that you would appreciate her giving you simple, honest answers even if the answers will not flatter you, because you need her honesty and will appreciate it. Then (3) ask her questions that are easier to address over dinner, bite-size questions, so to speak, one question at a time, take time in between:

-ask her if she thinks of your friendship as a casual friendship, if she would like to have a deeper level friendship, ask her if the age difference was a factor in her not seeing the relationship with you as a romantic long-term relationship, and if she felt that there “was something there” between the two of you.

“I hate to toss that away when there is an opportunity for a genuine relationship that can enhance our lives”- be bold: ask her simple, bite-size  questions, and do so gently, in a way that is likely to make her comfortable answering. A drink or two, in moderation, will help.

anita