Hi TeaK,

Hope you are doing well today and thank you for your time to respond to my question. You are totally right and my therapist agrees with this. I had a long session with her yesterday, even though I had a hard time recalling all the memories I had in my childhood, my therapist was patient enough to ask me some long questions.

I think I knew where my abandonment issue coming from, this is due to the trauma left behind when my parents were busy working and providing necessities since we were not rich, I felt emotionally neglected. Also, when I was still in primary school, my mom would make a mock exam a day before the real test and I had to get a high score from her. There were a number of times when I could not answer my mom’s tests and she would throw a fit, e.g. yelling, throwing the book to my face. She would apologize after this by giving treatment or cooking some warm meals. I guess I am accustomed to this behavior, but deep down, I was mostly afraid I would be neglected again if I’m not smart enough.

As I grew up, I tried to emphatize my parents, trying to understand my parents were still young when they had me, and working hard might add some stress as well. I could not blame them for these.

I think, for now, I am trying to parent my inner child that, ‘I’m safe and my parents will never leave me behind.’

Oh, and my childhood friend abandoned me a year ago, we just talked yesterday after she found my social media. We agreed to have a phone call this weekend when we are not busy with work and school.

Thank you again.

Hi Anita,

Hope you are doing well today too.

Thank you for your post. I will take my time to read this after work and get back to you again.