Dear Felix:

“My problem is the baggage I carry. I am punishing myself for all my past mistakes… I feel like I screwed up so badly that my life is over… the anger and the shame… like a sadomasochist I am continuing to punish myself”

You tried: “cardio 5 days a week.. road bike.. study daily… eat very healthy… I am trying hard… I am trying.. I am trying… Ate away my pain… interviewing for new job…weight loss through diet and exercise..  personal development through leaning about Stoicism and Buddhism, trying to meet a woman for a relationship… I am honestly trying hard now..  I meditate.. I am obsessed with road biking and hiking.. I am trying hard, but I feel empty.”

Cheryl Strayed: “Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It’s just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal”.

anita