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Hey Anita I did take your advice and I have not said anything further regarding love. I am checking myself everytime I want to receive those words or say them and I try to question why. You’re right, it is a vicious circle, in that when I do hear them I will always be wanting to hear them again to check to see if the love remains constant.
Sometimes I wonder though if we could get to a place where we could express that and not have it be riddled with anxious undertones or fears. I do know of a relationship he had about 12 years ago where he said he expressed it quite freely and often. So I wonder what has changed in him since then. I do feel a lot of love with him now and I am more confident knowing that he could see us living together and that he isn’t looking for other women. That is enough for now. I feel like I really needed something. I know that love is not always forever and people can and do fall in and out of love, change their minds. There is no guarantee and yet our hearts want the stability of something everlasting. I’m trying to really experience now for what it is and enjoy what I feel is happening in the moment. I do feel that we fall in love again a little each and every day, and that feels true.