Dear Laelithia:

Jan 26 2020: “He is so kind to me, helps me with my issues and stressors… He helped me purchase a new car (quite expensive, but he told me that I have worked so hard the last few years that I deserve to treat myself. I’m still not sure about this as it is a big expense and I’m not sure it’s the best choice financially”, March 10: “I started to panic. Specifically, about the purchase of the expensive vehicle that I felt B had somewhat pushed me into”-

– B did not help you with your stressors when he offered that you add a stressor into your life: a expensive car,  using your money: he added a stressor into your life.

His generosity with your money is not really generosity unless he considers your money to be (or to soon be) his money, and your car to be his car.

His attitude is that purchasing an expensive car is treating oneself, but your attitude is that purchasing an expensive car is burdening oneself. Did he know of your attitude and ignored it in favor of his attitude?

When you told B that you are pregnant, “he was pleased with the news and noted that he felt more secure in our relationship now”- was that his first reaction, to tell you that he felt.. did he not first ask you how you felt about it?

By Jan 26, a month and a week after he met you for the first time, he told you “that he wants and needs me in his life, that I have become his rock and he loves me completely”- he liked the way you were into him, liked your submissive, people-pleasing ways?

anita