Hi guys, not at all! Everything you are saying is totally true and the advice is the right advice, I just don’t feel strong enough at this time to put it into action, there will be a moment when it finally clicks and I will have had enough, believe me it is tilting that way and I really do appreciate the non judgement in any decision I make dealing with my issues after you have both kindly devoted your free time to provide very insightful and intelligent advice, I’m just at a difficult moment in my life and trying as best I can to navigate through it, I had a deep conversation with my closest friend last night who doesn’t normally like talking about it because it upsets him seeing me like this over someone who really isn’t worth it, I also explained about this thread and how it has been helpful in being able to express my feelings and get outside views.

Honestly Danny the last post was such a good analysis and something I can read over and over until it sinks in, I can assure you that I will not be making any contact my end as I have done all the chasing I can, if she was to contact me she would probably be able to convince me but I really doubt that is going to happen this time anyway and as I said I’m not clinging onto that hope.

My self esteem is that low that in my mind I do really doubt of being able to be with someone who can provide the love that I’m able to give and this is better than nothing for me which is ridiculous when you say that out loud, I do say to myself though after going through this and getting to that moment of meeting someone it will be an incredible feeling after feeling this way for such a long time.

I really am grateful for your responses and as I said when I’m having the confusing, sad moments I’ve got them read over and over to give me some perspective and don’t worry I’ll be sure to come back and update or request further advice if need be so thank you.