Dear Peace:

I am fine, thank you!

“he loves me a lot.. He cares for me. He want to see me smiling, happy (to) try to make me laugh… 24/7 romantic… but irresponsible… Does for a loving relationship all these romantic things are enough?? Like being sweet, saying sweet things, texting, video calling, saying miss you and love you… Will these stuff be enough for our happy future life?”-

– no, it will not be enough for a happy future life just as it is not enough for you at the present time. Because it is not enough to make you happy now (when you are living separately from him, with a separate bank account, no children together), there is no reason to think that it will make you happy in the future when living together with him, having joined finances and maybe children together.

Living together with him with joined finances means that there will be more opportunities for you to get hurt by his irresponsibility. If you were to have children with him, your children too will get hurt.

“is marriage more than such words, affection??”- yes, marriage is a lot more than words and expressed affection: marriage is about two individuals working together like a team, both being responsible. If in a marriage you have a job and when you are home, you clean and cook etc., and he sits at home, enjoying your work, (1) you will not have the time and peace of mind to enjoy his sweet words: you will be working too hard and too long, worrying about money, etc., (2) you will feel anger at him for not helping you, and for not following up on what he tells you (“He says something but doesn’t happen”).

“am I wasting my time once again??”- I think so. I am sorry.

“I got one very good proposal last month through a friend who is in UK. But I rejected it.. as I thought I have bf… On the other hand, a guy asked me that he is interested to know me as he is finding someone for marriage…. it’s okay for me?… What will be best to do in this situation”-

– it is okay for you to consider proposals for marriage. I suggest that you (1) let your long distance, sweet-talking boyfriend know that the long-distance relationship is over, and (2) that you consider getting to  know the man you mentioned/ other men as candidates for marriage, but get to know them for a long time non-sexually.

“Keep supporting my bf and continue the relationship.. May be things get better? Or choose to know the other guy?”- you already know the guy you refer to as your boyfriend, and what you know indicates that he is a bad candidate for marriage. There is no reason to think that he will change in the ways you wish he would change. Get to know a new  candidate for marriage, maybe the new candidate is responsible and follows through with what he says: when he tells you that he will do something- he does his best to make it happen.

anita