Growing up I felt like no one loved me at age 11 or 12 I fell off a bike a lost my front two teeth which made me not want to go to school I was already picked bcuz I was curvy and dark skin . A lot name calling at home an in school and it hurt me I often felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere so after a while I avoided my feelings bcuz no one cared . I watched my mom be mentally and physically abused by dad and my brothers father that hurt and I always wondered why did she accept these things and she said she wanted us to have a dad bcuz her dad was never around after a while I started to dislike her bcuz I thought she didn’t love me . She’d always send me to my room if I cried she’d ignore me and make me smile I felt like I was being punished for wanting attention   She never told me she loved me . I’m sure she did . But as I child I didn’t understand that  When I was in elementary school my mom had a fight with a lunch aide bcuz she pinched me and went to jail for a year my family blamed me and tortured me  they labeled me as the problem child I became angry an distant it was the only way to protect myself