Hey Sammy, please don’t apologise I really appreciate the time you take when you have it to reply and provide your thoughts. I hope you had a good weekend! As you said the weekends are tough at the moment, I had a drink with friends Friday evening and was nice to socialise but then felt empty and plagued by negative thoughts for the remainder, it is a tough time at the moment with the restrictions, I did get into some gaming with friends to take my mind off things so was not all bad, also at work I do occasionally watch things when it’s quiet on my phone but currently my attention span is not great and not able to enjoy watching any TV fully.

Also my sister has been reaching out to me a lot lately, clearly worried about my mental state as she suffers from depression, anxiety etc., previous to this affecting me we didn’t really have a close relationship and i was often critical of her behaviour not even realising how much we have in common so effectively we have become closer and she is probably the only person I speak too about this when I need to now, as I do not wish to bother my friends or mother going round in circles about the same things, so in a sense something positive is coming out of the process.

She did however inadvertently make me aware of my exes social media activity which she regrets this as it has set me back over the weekend, only a profile picture change and also suspect she could be talking to someone else now which I know is irrelevant for my healing process and she now knows not to disturb me with this information as I’m trying as hard as I can to not expose myself to anything.

So yeah has been a tough few days but the longer time elapses the more I’m accepting everything and looking forward to a new chapter and dumping all the emotional baggage, I feel this will be the lowest point so hopefully things can only feel better onwards, I am taking on board everything your saying from what I deserve and at some point I will succeed in achieving.