Thank you so much Anita and Pink24. You have no idea how great it feels to not being judged and have someone understand you!! I wholeheartedly appreciate you guys.

After writing this, I did some soul searching and in my heart I felt that all these mistakes that I did have affected this relationship worse. Relationship was not good earlier but instead of being open about it to him, I also closed down and tried to look for affection elsewhere. Me asking for a divorce would be just another act of my selfishness – again I am not thinking about society and anyone else but just at a deeper level, I feel that I am responsible for this and I need to own it – keeping my happiness aside for a while and be a good mother and a good wife. How long? I don’t know. I am hoping and praying to God every day that my husband will be able to trust me again and be emotionally available for me at some point.  May be give it a year or two – work on myself and improve upon my personal issues like anger control, being respectful towards him, supportive towards him.  In your opinion, do you guys think this might be the right way to look at it?

Thank you and Best Regards – Anamika.