Dear TeaK,

I hope you have been ok? And thank you for your honest answers and insights regarding your current relationship with your mother.

I understand the need why you had to put this physical distance between yourself and your mother, and I think if the relationship (with anyone) is so toxic that it makes you feel this bad, it is absolutely necessary to put this distance. Of-course it is much more difficult when it is with a parent.

On anger, i think it is a very genuine emotion and there is so much to learn from anger. It is much better to feel angry than to “forgive and let go”. Its frustrating when people preach letting go as if it is something that can just happen so easily or forced. About forgiveness, i understood, there is no need to forgive if the person(be it a mother or a friend) is not worth it. It is thanks to Alice Miller I understood this whole concept of forgiveness is just usually a false pretense. She talks very strongly about how important it is not to “forgive” and the damaging effects these forgiveness can bring about in the body or mind.

I personally think forgiveness or letting go is something that if it happens, it happens naturally. But no feeling or emotion should be forced upon oneself in the name of morality or culture. Anger, on the other hand, is a beautiful and genuine emotion. I learnt a lot from that thing that I call anger. It is not harmful or dangerous at all. and i don’t think we should stop it if we feel it.