Dear Ilyana,

welcome! First, your therapist is right when she told you that getting in touch with your body can help you in dealing with your psychological problems. As far cognitive difficulties you’ve mentioned, I believe smoking weed could be a contributing factor because it causes mental fog, as far as I know. It probably helps you feel better for a while, but if you consider the possible negative consequences on your mental abilities, I believe it’s worth considering to abandon it.

I am sorry to hear about your depression. As someone suffering from bipolar disorder, you’re probably more prone to depression, and then it just got intensified after you gave birth, because it was such a traumatic experience. And if you don’t feel emotional support from your husband, as you wrote in your other thread, it would make it even harder to cope with your feelings alone. It’s good you entered therapy – that should help you a lot!

It’s also great that you see the need to start loving and respecting yourself more. That’s the first step on your healing journey – the awareness of the problem. It might feel like a huge mountain at the moment, but what’s important is to make the first step. You’ve already made some initial steps, so just keep going.

What I think is also important to stress is that by using substances you’re trying to numb your pain. In order to reduce substance use, you’d need to find healthier ways to express your emotions and feel and process your pain. Therapy is ideal for that, so you’re on the right path. I also hope that Tiny Buddha website and this forum can provide some support on your journey.