Dear ninibee,

Sometimes I feel like my mind goes blank and I cannot see or remember anything wrong with my mom

a part of the problem could be that the wound happen very early in your childhood. I’ve looked at your previous threads and saw that you mentioned your mom had germophobia, and also that you have a phobia of vomiting which might be related to an incident on an airplane when you were left unchanged in your own vomit. You also mentioned that later you didn’t like when your mother was going through your dirty laundry and that you preferred to wash your clothes by yourself.

All that indicates to me that your mother might have been disgusted with your bodily secretions and was very uncomfortable changing your diapers, cleaning you from vomit etc, specially since she’s so afraid of germs. So her disgust and maybe even fear of your bodily secretions have probably registered in you, and you now feel disgusting and unacceptable to yourself. The rejection happened so early, that it’s hard to pinpoint what exactly it is.

It has nothing to do with you – you were a normal baby pooing and puking like every other baby – it has to do with your mother’s inability to accept you on the bodily level, thus creating a feeling in you of being rejected for who you are.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Tee.