Dear Namaste,

I’m now trying to have healthy boundaries and acknowledge that it’s OK for me to have things I want and need. I don’t see how this translates to demanding and needy with my boyfriend.

Your boyfriend seems to be in a difficult spot, because he has to care about his sick son (could you say a bit more about his son’s illness?). You said he intends (or intended) to move back to you, but “he already missed his first deadline and now in addition to sadness/grief, I feel anger/resentment and loss of trust”.

So he’s delayed his return and you feel abandoned and betrayed. He on the other hand says “he just needs a little more time to help his son and then he can move back”. But you feel it’s lasted for too long (1,5 years) and it will likely never end since his son has serious issues.

Could you tell me a bit more about how much time per day he spends on his son? And when he’s not caring for his son, does he talk only about him, i.e. is he completely preoccupied with his son’s condition to the point that he cannot give proper attention to you? Is his son the only topic of discussion and interest for him, and that’s why you feel neglected?