Morning Sammy, your last post is absolutely correct I know that, I certainly wouldn’t accept any reconciliation on my part at this time, I am really believing in the rebuilding phase and finding myself again, I want to find my internal happiness before I would consider anything serious with anyone, it’s obvious I can’t be anything casual with her because of my feelings and how it affects me so believe me I feel stronger in repelling any effort at this time. I wish I was as emotionally strong as you and could draw a definite line under it forever but I just can’t do that, not at this time anyway, maybe I will feel different as time goes on and I become a better version of myself or I might meet someone else whilst that happens, I believe there is no script in life and anything can happen but I promise you I’m not clinging onto to any hope, I’m just being open minded, I don’t know how I will feel in the coming months but I know that I am very determined to stick to my own blueprint on how I want to better myself. I know that it was a good window for her to reach out and she hasn’t which I am partially relieved at because it just make things easier, like you I would of replied because I can’t just ignore her but I would have kept it short and reaffirm I agree at the moment it’s best we do our own thing and allow space, I have absolutely no urge to reach out to her.

The morning anxiety is just a daily thing at the moment I know that will change, it might more deep rooted issues other than the healing phase and I know it will pass, I went to bed a bit later last night as I did have a lot of thoughts running through my head but when i did fall asleep I slept all the way through and I feel a lot better today than I did yesterday so positive vibes, haircut tonight, I may venture out a bit more this weekend as the weather is supposed to be nice and continue my abstinence from alcohol and just try to generally socialise, after yesterday evening I feel I can do that without so much anxiety as at the back of my mind I was worrying about bumping into her and now that has happened I don’t have to worry so much about how it will make me feel.

I hope everything is good with you also! Always on about myself lol but I do appreciate your investment in my journey as always 🙂