Dear sossi:

“You have to wonder what I did in a former life that led to this. My boss thinks I feel like a victim too much… My friends have had similar experiences to me and feel sympathy but equally see no options where we are”-

– if you meant to say that your friends see no options in regard to a relationship between you and the man we are discussing, then I agree with them. It is very unlikely that there will be a relationship, at least not a healthy one and not for long.

Regarding your boss thinking that you feel like a victim too much- I would say that she is partly correct. When you were a child and your sister was so jealous of you, causing you to suffer, and no one protected you/ no one corrected the injustice you suffered- you were truly a victim.

* It’s not that what you did in a former life led to your experience today, but that what happened to you in your early life, as a child, led to much of what you experience today.

As an adult, at times you were truly a victim of abusive people at the workplace and otherwise. At other times, you felt like a victim but you were not.

Back to when you were a child, your sister wanted what was yours, if I remember correctly, and she took what was yours. Fast forward, you feel that this other woman, a real estate agent (who is living with the man we are discussing, and who has listed his properties) took from you what was yours.

But he wasn’t yours, you know. I mean, you didn’t own him. If you understood that you didn’t really own him, you might not feel like a victim in this regard.

anita