Dear Elie:

You are welcome. Combining what you shared in your recent two posts with what you shared earlier in this thread and the previous, it is my understanding that:

(1) You grew up with parents who have been “emotionally unaware”, parents who never understood you emotionally (“they don’t understand me emotionally or can’t”).

(2) Because they did not understand you emotionally, you perceived your emotions to be too complicated to be understood:  “(I) feel like I’m not capable of being understood due to my own complications inside”.

(3) Because they did not understand you emotionally, they were not able to comfort you when you were distressed, so your distress took hold and intensified, becoming too deep to be comforted: “(I) always have deeper feelings beyond what people try to comfort me by”.

(4) To lessen your distress, you have repeatedly dissociated: “there’s always a part of me that disassociates with people and surroundings”.

(5) Neither understood nor comforted, you experience loneliness: “I always used to feel lonely”.

(6) Your efforts to no longer feel lonely in the context of romantic relationships failed: “my prospects in relationships, I get my trust broken every time I believe in someone”.

(7) You feel intense empathy for your brother for “constantly trying for a job and.. breaking apart”. Because of your intense empathy for him, his pain became your pain: “I really do see him.. breaking apart.. And that just makes me break apart too”. Your pain over his pain is intense.

Is my understanding above (1-7) accurate?

anita