Dear Lily:

Accountable! I thought about you yesterday when I visited the city north of me, making a mental note to tell you the following:  mask rules have changed after 15 months of the pandemic in the U.S.: It is no longer required for fully vaccinated people to wear masks outdoors and indoors! I was at a store, but couldn’t bring myself to take my mask off, thinking that it will make people who do wear masks uncomfortable. But then I thought: because (1) vaccines have proven very effective, and (2) in the U.S., there is no shortage of vaccines (there is enough for each and every person who wants it), and the problem is that too may people don’t want  to get vaccinated because of their political affiliation—-  if anyone feels uncomfortable about me not wearing a mask, fearing to be infected by a mask-less person, then he/ she should get vaccinated!!!

On the other hand, I had an uncomfortable experience sitting outdoors with a group of people the day before- I made a comment in regard to how wonderful it was that most of the people at the table were fully vaccinated, a woman who is a right-winger and refuses to get vaccinated turned against me, repeatedly asking angrily: “ARE YOU VACCINE SHAMING ME???!!!!” After some silence (I didn’t argue with her), I told her that it was not my intent to shame her, that my intent was to promote and encourage vaccination. Soon after, she  got up with a dramatic flare and left. Everyone at the table stayed for a bit longer, but too soon everyone left, because aggression does leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth, a bad taste that lingers.

You wrote today: “It is a feeling of shame, feeling ashamed of who I am. It feels like everything is over and I have ruined everything. I start to think about everything I did wrong”- I used to think that way. In the past, if I was in the situation I described to you above, with the woman who turned against me, I would probably not have been able to respond to her as calmly and rationally as I did, feeling very guilty and .. of course, ashamed. But the day before, although I didn’t feel good about the situation for the rest of the evening, I didn’t feel ashamed or guilty, I knew I was right about vaccination and that she was wrong. I made this much progress, and so can you!

anita