Hey Anita

Answering to your post

Yes I totally get it

Infact I guess I sometimes relate to my situation as of the baby elephant (I dont know if you know this lesson but still I ll add the context). I had read this lesson as a kid i guess, where in a animal tamer used to tie a baby elephant with a tight rope everyday to some thing rigid, and as a baby, it might find it difficult to tear the rope.. But even after the elephant grew up, the tamer used to tie it with the same rope, but the elephant was already conditioned to believe that it wont be able to tear the rope apart, so it never tried to escape even after it grew up and was way more strong.

Thats how I feel.. Might even be too much of victimization at my end, i dont know