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Ishita

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  • #377203
    Ishita
    Participant

    Thanks TeaK and anita , for your valuable insights.

    Yes its true that this is actually a good thing that this has ended because I feel more relieved now than I did then ,because I am able to take this as an opportunity to focus on myself more.

    #377179
    Ishita
    Participant

    thanks, TeaK your reply i guess is an eye-opener for me , given this entire incident has also got to make some revelation about me, on why did allow myself to feel obligated to someone, are such people even worth it in the long run in your life, if you cant be yourself around them.

    It wasn’t exactly that we used to just talk about him, its just , I stopped feeling like telling him my problems , because I have this fear of people be judging it, until I am very comfortable around them(which is a problem with me), and if I wasn’t telling him that , during the time I was facing it and stressing about it, I didn’t even feel like talking about myself even a bit, and he didn’t really see that.

    So, by overly protective, I meant, that he was there for me always, we are in the same club in our college,and that’s how we had met.Now, I am someone who is very involved in the works of the club , and am pretty opinionated, whereas he is , more of an introvert who , didn’t really aim for the leadership position in the club. I have faced instances where some of my batchmates have tried to take credits for my work unduly and it used to make me sad at times, and he has been there in those times (even more ,recently) to fight for me. But somewhere eventually in the last two months I could feel , as if though he had made this more dependent on his mood , of how much support he would want to be, whereas , I had always been their for him , to never allow anyone to do something wrong to him in the club .

    He used to mention a few things about his relationship with his girlfriend at times, but mostly he never really used to mention her, which used to make me feel this couldn’t actually be a rebound then. He in fact used to tell me two months after their breakup that he was pretty much ready to move on, I guess that was a lie then. Anyways I am not sure of anything any more.

    We are also supposed to take a knowledge session for our juniors together this weekend and as of now he has been acting all formal with me , since I told him I wanted distance for a while to reconsider our friendship.I hope this session goes well.

    This has now some what taken a toll on my self esteem too.,on how could I not know, how could I fall for someone thinking I could trust him with myself . It feels as though that he would have only considered me in such a case only, and not ingeneral .

     

    • This reply was modified 6 days, 3 hours ago by Ishita.
    #377165
    Ishita
    Participant

    Sorry while trying to edit my comment I mistakenly reported it, I hope that doesn’t create any problem?

    #377163
    Ishita
    Participant

    This reply has been reported for inappropriate content.

    Thankyou TeaK for reading the entire passage and giving your valuable views on the same, it means a lot.

    yes I am actually very hurt, because not only did I fall for him and got rejected but also I lost a really close friend because I no longer see him the way I used to . For me , he was someone who was a humble , good and caring person , whereas , now he is more of a self-centered and selfish person for me , who actually never really understood me.

    But I dont know if we should call it to rebound, because it had already been 4months to his break up , when he started getting even closer to me, and we have been friends for like two years now, although I agree , he is more of an introvert and a bit emotionally inexpressive, never really attempted to know me this well up until now and I am his only close female friend(not that he doesnt have other female friends but he is really close to just a few ppl in college). So , could you please tell me how Rebounds are supposed to be like, because I have been confused this entire time of whether this was his rebound, and it breaks me a bit inside, thinking , that he would have probably gotten involved with any girl then, he could have got his hands on.

    One time , he used to be super caring ,and overly protective of me , and then the other times it used to just depend on his mood if he would like to care (and i noticed how he used to act the former only when I showed as if I wasn’t very into him, which is kind of narcissistic behavior)

    He is and has been always a workaholic and thus he eventually ,when the semester started got involved in his own work, forgetting completely how emotionally unfulfilled I had begun to feel . Our conversations had mostly become about him, because I had again begun to feel this insecurity, that what if he feels I am a mess. Not that I feel this way about myself, I am someone pretty confident about myself, but I was so into not wanting to lose him, that I eventually began to feel obligated somewhere or the other, because I knew we were very different people , and I really thought that maybe I had begun to become too much for him now, which was so wrong to feel for oneself.

    Right now, I am not even sure if I want to be his friend again or not, given how bad he messed me up.

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