Dear miyoid:

“He feels like family”-  like the family you have or the family you didn’t have?

“He feels like family but it simply doesn’t work”- He feels like family, and like (your) family, it simply doesn’t work.  Is my editing of this sentence accurate?

I wonder how you are feeling right now, as you read my post:  is it still “very painful to even try to let go of him”, and do you “desperately need him” still? Maybe you will feel better if you edit your own thoughts in a similar way to this:

It is “very painful to even try to let go of him”=> It is very painful to even try to let go of the idea of him, of what he represents to me: a family I never had.

“I desperately need him”=> I desperately need the idea of him, what he represents to me: a family I might have some day, a family in which I feel safe and peaceful.

Imagine feeling safe and peaceful not just at night when you stayed up in front of the computer, knowing your mother/ boyfriend slept in the other room, but every day- so safe that you could soundly sleep at night.

anita