Dear Murtaza:

You shared yesterday, May 24, that last year you “had mostly bad days”, but “luckily right now I’m on my good days… right now I’m just not suffering much… right now I could say that I’m contentment with myself… I might dislike life when bad days come, but right now I feel at peace, what I always wanted and valued, and I know for a fact, living normally would mean less of this peace”.

Three weeks ago, on May 1, you had a bad day: “I’m so miserable in this life, I just hate life so much.. I think if I end my life, I will finally rest.. I’m stuck here.. I don’t think it matters anymore, nothing is, even making this post”- so, that was just one bad day, not a dominant experience,  I mean, you have days when you like or love life, days when you feel free (not stuck)?

You also wrote yesterday: “I always appear online very pessimistic but there is a good side too, a side I can’t show unless you see me in real life”- (a) On May 1 (the quote above), when you were typing the post, were you very pessimistic or did you appear more pessimistic than you actually were?  (b) At some time after you submitted that post, away from the computer, on that same day- did you feel better, less pessimistic?

By the way, I was born in and grew up in the same time zone as yours, about 14 hours drive from where you live. When I was your age I still lived there. (Now I live about 16 hours away by plane).

anita