Dear DaveF,

it appears the major thing that keeps you in the relationship is your feeling of guilt, which she is amplifying by desperate begging, telling you you’ll regret it, telling you you can’t leave her, insulting you, and the pressure you feel from her family too. You’re made to be the bad guy, and she sees herself as the victim. You’re afraid of yet another confrontation and being condemned by her.

On top of that, you say you fear to be on your own again, and it seems it’s a theme for you, because when your ex broke up with you, you were “desperate to be in a relationship at the time”. Also, there’s a practical problem that you’re renting a house together. If you break up, are you afraid that she’d be in an unfavorable situation financially/existentially?

At the moment, it appears that your feeling of guilt is stronger than your fear of loneliness. You feel trapped in the relationship and “feel like crying every time I see her in the house”. It appears you feel helpless because you can’t bear her accusations, and I think it’s probably because there’s a part of you that believes those accusations. A part of you that believes you’re guilty of something.

Does this sound true to you?