Hi Teak and Anita,

Both of your responses really resonated with me and I’ve been thinking about what you’ve both said over the last 2 weeks. I felt quite sick by what you were both suggesting, to be honest. I told him I felt sick and I that I needed a couple days before I could talk about it with him. I told him how I felt, like he was using me for “after work sex” and how ill that made me feel. I also explained how it bothered me that we didn’t go on real dates, he hasn’t told his sisters or cousins about me and that we haven’t met each other’s friends. I said these things together made me feel like he didn’t take me seriously. He said he didn’t introduce me to his friends because of the pandemic but agreed we needed to arrange proper dates more often.  He said everything was unintentional and hard to see without taking a step back and evaluating it. 1.5 weeks later I suggested we meet and go to a flower garden as a nice date and opportunity to talk. He suggested Saturday (today) and I agreed. Last minute, he told me he his sister texted him that he had to go to a family commitment with them for his cousin at a temple (a prayer for his cousin whose mother passed away 2 years ago). I was very irritated. I had already started getting ready and was really looking forward to that date. I planned my outfit, did my nails etc. I felt so dumb because this isn’t the first time it has happened, DUE TO HIS FAMILY.  I suggested we take a break because I felt overwhelming emotions in this moment, combined with the other feelings I already had. He apologized for the last minute flaking. I said I need a couple days to think and suggested he do the same.  And that we can talk after and decide what we want to do.

In this situation, I could see how it wasn’t his fault since it was his family. But I feel they are so demanding of his time. This has bothered me early into dating. And he doesn’t have a backbone so he doesn’t say no to them. I don’t see this changing either. I want to bring this up to him without being offensive. I am very close to my family too but I still prioritize him. It shouldn’t be this hard to have a relationship with my boyfriend. I’m hoping this break will give me some clarity.

Hope you’re all doing well.