Dear Ashmitha,

I agree with anita – it’s my impression too that this guy is manipulating you consciously. If he really wanted it to work, he would introduce you to his family, even if it’s a “big thing” to be introduced. After all, you’ve been dating for more than a year, he says he means it seriously, he’s telling you things like “when we get married, when he have children…”,  so what’s the problem? The only explanation is that he’s lying that he means it seriously.

I invited him to meet my friends next month but he said “don’t be mad, my sister’s birthday party is then.” I said I wasn’t mad and he told me to stop lying and that I can voice my opinion….

Now I see it’s his strategy – he is so “kind” and “understanding” that he “encourages” you to voice your opinion. He’s not some rude guy who tells you to shut up or gets angry and quarrels with you. No, he allows you to express your concerns, listens to you calmly, tells you “it’s a good question” – and this probably makes you feel heard and understood. But in reality, it has no value, since he doesn’t change his behavior, it all stays the same. So your opinion is heard but disregarded. And he probably uses it as a manipulation strategy, because someone who is emotionally immature wouldn’t be so smooth like him. Would be much less refined than him. Unfortunately, this guy sounds like a “smooth operator”, and yeah, a wolf in sheep’s clothing…