Dear bren,

He might not be able to give you a clear No because of his own issues, such as the one I mentioned – that he wants to have you as a backup in case things don’t work out with his new girlfriend. Or it could be other reasons, such as him feeling guilty for cutting you off.

A bigger problem, at least as I see it, is why you feel at an impasse if he doesn’t give you a clear-cut answer. Why having hope, i.e. a chance of getting back with him – is such a burden for you. My impression is that it could be because you’re afraid you might not live up to his expectations:

He also said what if we get back together and I work on these things I have going on and then stop and it goes back to the way it was.

He doesn’t want to be disappointed again. He’s been disappointed before. You said he lost hope (that you would change?), and that’s why he broke up with you. You don’t want to mess it up again.

If he told you he’s not interested in a future with you, you wouldn’t need to worry about messing up again. And you wouldn’t risk being rejected again – for not being good enough.

Does this sound like a possibility to you?