Hi Dee,

There is one instance that occurred while I was in high school that did leave me feeling a little indifferent and not supported by my mother. I had an appointment with my primary doctor when I was 16, where I expressed to my doctor that I was experiencing a lot of anxiety and would be interested in receiving any kind of help for that. My mother essentially brushed this off when my doctor relayed this information to her, and asked me if I really needed help.

Yeah, this doesn’t sound supportive at all. She dismissed your feelings and asked you if you really need help. I can imagine that you were expected not to need help because “I never really “needed” any emotional support so I don’t think I received it.”

All children need emotional support from their parents. There must be a reason why you thought you don’t need anything?

I don’t know, hard to explain I guess I would say I had a fear of everything for a long time, I was very not open about things that I felt or thought. This has carried into my adulthood but not as severe.

So you had fear and anxiety for a long time, and yet, you believed you don’t need emotional support from your parents. Perhaps you would have needed their help and support, but you thought you shouldn’t bother them because they had enough trouble with your brother? (I saw your discussion with anita on your other thread) If so, it’s not that you didn’t need it, but you suppressed that need. And then when you finally reached out to your doctor at the age of 16, sharing about your anxiety, your mother brushed it off as nothing. She wasn’t open to hearing about your problems, and it probably only confirmed your belief that you should suppress it, that you shouldn’t bother her with it. Do you think this is what might have happened?

And then food could have easily served as comfort, as a distraction from painful feelings that you needed to suppress, and from fear and anxiety too…