Dear Dandan:

* In your thread, you wrote about your depression: “I hate being alone most of the times. I get zoned out and get depressed for no reason, even among friends. I feel always low for no reason…I feel depressed with myself when I am alone.. I get depressed mostly post afternoon and evening.. I feel like which ever path I take I am doomed and going to be miserable”-

– your depression is a result of a daily complex chemical mix that your brain and body produce, including neurotransmitters and hormones. Your brain is in a chemical habit of being depressed, a habit that intensifies post afternoons and evenings.

You wrote that your depression “sometimes doesn’t have any main reason”, and sometimes it is because of your un-accomplishments, such as not getting to your best physique,  “So I have a feeling that if I lift up these work on these, eventually I will be fine and happy”-

– Your depression is a chemical habit of your brain and body. Exercising helps temporarily because of uplifting chemicals that are produced during exercise, but some time after the exercise, your brain goes back to its chemical habit of depression. Therefore, when you accomplish your desired physique, not long after, you are very likely to return to your habit of depression, and be a depressed man with a great physique.

* In your thread, you wrote about your overthinking: “Every small step. I over think a lot. I have like 100 thoughts with images and gifs running in my mind without control every minute…My mind keeps switching so frequently. There is something fundamentally wrong with my thought process….I tend to think a lot about past whenever something doesn’t happen in a good way but I know there is no use of thinking that way… I am overthinking… Sitting at home alone in a room and overthinking about everything makes everything look scary”-

– You are suffering from obsessive thinking. (You obsessively think about negative topics because you are depressed)

From reading your words (quotes above) and seeing the volume of your posts (how your many thoughts burst into the screen as you type them), it seems clear to me that you need to see a medical doctor for psychiatric medications so to treat your (1) depression, (2) obsessive thinking.

I am not a medical doctor, but millions of people are treated successfully with the SSRI group of medications that are used to treat depression and obsessive thinking (one tablet treats both). You don’t have to be on psychiatric drugs forever, but in your case, I think that they are a necessary beginning for your healing.

You have to have a relief from the severe depression and obsessive thinking that you suffer from before you are able to make significant life choices regarding career and relationships.

“I feel like which ever path I take I am doomed and going to be miserable”- without medications providing you with the relief you need so desperately, I agree with this statement. Please see a competent, reputable medical doctor as soon as possible. (I don’t think that SSRIs will interrupt your physique building, you can ask a doctor about it).

anita