I am wondering if these comments are actually emotional abuse. You may be experiencing that and not know it. If your partner is not willing to change these, maybe see either a) couples therapy b) bring an outsider in and explain both views and get their opinion c) set up boundaries (you talk to me like this, I will walk away) or my recommendation d) leave the situation.

If you are both stubborn, it sounds like he is gaslighting and victim blaming you to make you think you’re also the problem. If someone is emotionally abusive, it’s not a communication struggle within the relationship. It’s abuse. You need to ask a therapist about the red flags and signs (or look them up yourself).

Hope that helps!