Dear Emily:

“Like I am stuck in this negative mindset… holding on and staying negative. Like he tried to make it positive again, but I feel so much and don’t understand why it is so difficult for me to regain some positivity”- some people get angry and stay angry for a long, long time, getting stuck in anger; others get angry, then shortly after, they are no longer angry.

I used to belong to the first group and suffered a lot for it. But I did the work I needed to do.. and to my surprise, I now belong to the second group, which makes my life much easier!

Once angry or otherwise distressed, it takes some time before being able to return to baseline. It is important to spend as much time as possible at baseline, that is, in a state of relative emotional calm and clarity. There is a way to train your brain and body to shorten the time it takes to return from distress to baseline. If that makes sense to you, let me know, and we can discuss this further.

anita