Hello Sofioula,

You are three weeks into this relationship and you don’t want to be pressured into having sex.  Your boyfriend has managed to turn that around into a ‘pressure’ upon himself.  Added to that his long standing relationship has just come to an end and he has to meet with her (presumably) for a handover of all her possessions.  I’m willing to bet that he isn’t scared of hurting you but that he is scared of hurting himself.  He wouldn’t say such a thing if he was in a loving relationship with you.  These are early days and things moved at a fast pace with him introducing you to his family.  You are talking of getting married to a man who isn’t ready for such a commitment and there is no competition among friends involved.  It doesn’t matter if he is the first or the last of them to get married.  You need to know that you are compatible and that you are secure as a couple.

My opinion is that you should stand back and ask yourself if he is mature enough or stable enough for a long term relationship at this moment in time.  The cracks have appeared.  It doesn’t sound good.  He is already rethinking the commitment.  Four weeks into a relationship and the problems are appearing.  You haven’t known him long enough to know him as a complete person.  People are inclined to show themselves at their best during the early days and then they drop the mask and less desirable traits surface.

“This much drama is so bad”.  Even if you wanted sex with him now, he would want to wait?  Really!  Alternatively, he might be wanting to punish you for rejecting him.

If you really want to stay and make this work, you probably need some couples counselling but so early on!!!

My advice to you would be that you should seriously consider moving on to someone new, someone who can be more positive about sharing a future with you.

Best Wishes

Peggy