Dear miyoid:

“In moments like this, he just tells me that he doesn’t want to be anyone’s anything. But he also told me that he would never do the same mistakes again with other people”-

But miyoid, of course he’ll make the same mistakes, and more mistakes, with other women. He said he wouldn’t- but from all that you shared about him, there is no way that he will magically become mentally healthy and not repeat his mistakes with another woman. Actually, when he suggested that he made mistakes- that’s a euphemism. A much more accurate wording would be to say that he is and has been severely mentally ill.

“Right after I’ve learned to earn my weekends and spare myself some time to relax, he is out of the picture. This breaks my heart as well. He was upset because I didn’t and couldn’t spare any time for us to just spend carelessly”-

He expressed to you jealousy about you having spent more together- time with other men before him, but that doesn’t mean that he wanted to, or that he was able to spend more together-time with you. His jealousy and ability/ willingness to spend much together time with you are two separate things.

From your previous post: “He learned all about it and he’ll continue with this lesson, maybe he’ll be happy with some other girls and I’ll be standing all alone”- he said he learned. He didn’t learn because he has been and still is severely mentally ill. Not long ago you had to take away from him razor blades and a rope so he doesn’t cut/ hang himself, and he was hospitalized- these indicate severe mental illness.

“It just breaks my heart how he can move on like that. He can move on, he can deal with the fact that I’m devastated and he can leave me like that….  I feel so much resentment towards him and towards life”-

– Miyoid,  the fact that you have been with him all this time and that the only way to have separated from him was if he made it happen indicates to me that your mental health is lacking. You have to take yourself and your mental health seriously. I know you feel old, but you are so very young, in your very early 20s. You can have a better life. The way it has been so far doesn’t have to  be the way it will always be.

I hope to read from you soon.

anita