Hi TeaK,

Yes I am referring to the same man in my previous post and his diagnosis was professional.

I was blaming myself for the end of the relationship because I thought I was asking for too much and he would constantly say that I was complaining too much and I believed him. I now know that I was asking for the bare minimum in the relationship, but it was so difficult for him to give it to me. He has trouble with empathy and he wasn’t able to empathize with me because he was too worried about himself.

I agree that I was seeing him through rose coloured glasses because I was seeing his potential and his past, not who is he right now.

I believe I am not seeing him through rose coloured glasses anymore because I understand all the hurtful things hes done and I do not want him in my life. I simply want the best version of him in my life again which is why I have hope. And I do not want that hope because it’s holding me back.

When I say I love him unconditionally, I do not mean romantically. I love him as a person, just like my loved ones in my life, but a part of me wants him to be the person he once was so we can be in a healthy relationship together. Only a small part of me wants that and is holding onto hope, but I know it’s not good to have that hope.

I know I can still love someone and not want them in my life. And have unconditional love and care for them. For example, if something were to happen to someone I love unconditionally, I will drop everything for them. It does not necessarily mean romantic.

Hope I cleared it up for you.