Hi Linarra,

So what would you say are your disabilities? What aspects of every day life are hard for you? Are they learning disabilities or trauma based or both? Do you have anxiety or depression?

What does a typical day look like for you?

How often do you interact with your mother and father?

Lastly, what art do you do or are trying to do professionally?

What are things you like to do?

I’m asking to get a feel of your obstacles AND opportunities.

I’m so proud of you for all the work you’ve done on yourself. I wasn’t a psychology major, but I’ve learned a lot from researching and writing self help. Maybe it’s pulling you to help someone else. Someone like you.

You’re reaching your inner child. She is shining a light on the progress you have made. All you have to do is invest in self care.

I’ve become my own best friend. Like I said before, I’m living at home with my mom too and am on disability.  I have no one really to turn to as a support system like friends or family for deep stuff. It’s lacking in my life too. But I do things that I like each day. I do stuff I enjoy. I live MINDFULLY. I took myself to Barnes and Nobles the other day, wrote a letter to my inner child then cried in the bathroom. I came out and read some self help books and felt relief. I had no one to share this moment with but I knew that I was developing a sense of self out of the madness. I was becoming more authentic and real with who I am and what I strive for, BECAUSE I know what it’s like to be without love or support. I am alone but not lonely now. Solitude has become my friend.

So something crazy happened to me recently. You know the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne? I emailed her team a sad email like “Why is there suffering in this world?” Well I got a personal response from Rhonda herself. A tease from the universe I guess. I have bipolar and she said her daughter has a mental illness too. She gave some encouraging words and I got to tell her my views on life and God. So…you never know who you’re going to meet!

I also was at a beach this weekend experiencing great grief for an ex. I was like “This is so overwhelming. How do I live without this person?” I got insights from that moment that I was able to put into an email once I received Rhonda’s when I got home that day. It was in synch in a way- my thoughts from the day at the beach and the opportunity to reply to an email from her personally.

Here’s what I thought of that day- I am not the only one who feels this way. Everyone is struggling in someone. We are all linked, all connected by our human experience of suffering.

Those people who hurt you did not get the best of you. They did not take away your beauty as a person or your potential. They may have made things harder, but you’ll find they affect you less as you walk this life with self-worth and dignity.

I do believe it is possible for you to get out of this situation. I do believe that life has more to offer you.

Your mom doesn’t know what she’s missing out on. She’s missing out on the most mature, honest, heartfelt, introspective and wise daughter…YOU. You are these things and more! She is missing out on a real best friend in you, not the forced emotional support you have to give her. She is missing out on those little moments where she gets to see you smile or laugh at things you love. She is missing it all. And that is her loss.

I know she’s in therapy but narcissists can manipulate therapists pretty easily. But it’s good she’s going at all. If you could write an unsent letter to your mom and dad, what would it say? Maybe make that your project this week. (You can share it here if you want to but don’t have to.)

Keep therapy searching. It’s taken five years for me to find someone who gives good feedback. so I guess it’s hard out there. Try it anyway. I got some good meditations from a therapist. one is a containment exercise where you put your negative thoughts and feelings in a container of your choice, imagining all its details then seal it away somewhere to deal with later or not at all. You can also adapt this into a “worry schedule” where you come back to your worries later. I discovered this on my own thinking “I’ll take a vacation from my thoughts. They’ll be here when I get back.” WELL it was worry scheduling and I didn’t know that term until I became a self help writer. Another is to go to your happy place in your mind and visualize it as deeply as you can.

Here is an inner child meditation a therapist once sent me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2OfD00e6Tk

You can search for more on youtube.

I love your openness to receiving advice and how responsive you are. I mean you are ON IT. For someone who is feeling held back in life, you have such a strong will. This tells me you are ready to heal. You are ready for life to change. You are ready for life to change you.

It’s beautiful that you’re chasing your dreams. We can’t know where that will lead us but it’s a very brave step. I’m proud of you.

You deserve love. A love that is warm and enveloping and open and honest. You deserve someone to uplift you and tell you how wonderful you are. You deserve friendships you can share your deepest hopes and dreams and fears without shame. You deserve a mom and dad who save you, not scorn you. You deserve it.

We all do. But often, life is unfair. So hold onto the goodness. Hold onto those moments that take your breath away. Look at the stars at night and see how small you are compared to the vastness of the universe but also that you are a part of it all. How splendid. Ask yourself, “What am I here for? What is my purpose?” It’s not what you do but who you are that matters. It’s not if you have a conventional life but a life of conviction. Can you live such a life? A life that you choose?

Because I see great things for you. You just have to keep holding on.

I’m going to reread Man’s Search for Meaning too. 🙂

Sarah