Dear Annie,

it appears that you pleading with them doesn’t help – they still behave the same. And no wonder, because you always eventually do the task they’ve asked you to do, even if you complain. So why would they change if they get what they want anyway?

I think they will only change if you change your attitude and not do what they ask you to do – specially if you have a busy week at work and don’t have enough time.

I know it’s a problem for you to say No, because you feel guilty if you don’t help them. It specially hurts you (and even causes chest pains) that they don’t really hear you, don’t really care about you. You feel they only care about your sister, but not you. That’s the pain in your heart that you’re feeling.

I think the key thing you can do regarding emotional pain is that you work on healing yourself, and develop more self-love and self-appreciation, so you won’t be so dependent on your parents’ expression of love. Once you do that, you’ll be able to better set boundaries because you won’t feel so guilty about protecting your personal space and time.

Also, when you feel a bit more self-confident, you can then talk to them and explain that you feel unappreciated and unheard by them, and that they don’t take you and your needs into account. But I think it will be easier to confront them once you start appreciating and loving yourself more.