Dear Lisa:

A year and 3 months ago, on April 29, 2020, you submitted the following in your original post of your previous thread (I will brush up on the grammar and punctuation for an easier read): “Here’s my story from the absolute start: when I was 5, my parents broke up… When I was 11, my.. mom died.. All of this was before I met my first ever boyfriend, Nick… It was lust at first sight.. Eventually, he talked to me for the first time, and it was like magic… We started dating.. After three months, the bad side of him started to come out: he would scream at me, and make me apologize for things he did. He would cut himself when he and his mom fought, he would blame me for everything wrong in his life… After awhile, he dumped me.. After  week of us breaking up, he was.. f******  my friends.. He would come to my house every once and a while, and f*** me and then put on his clothes and leave.

“Now, let’s skip to.. I meet this boy at a party. He told me when I walked into the room, he didnt notice anyone else.., and I felt the same. What we had was magical, and everyone saw it too. So, the night we met, we had sex.. We were super drunk and giggly so it wasn’t the best, lol but we had fun…

“After the first few months, I had met most of his family, I had my job, I was doing well in school. I was happy with him, but deep down, something felt off, something was stopping me from loving him the way I loved my last boyfriend… Now that someone loved me, it meant that I was going to hurt him.. About a month ago, we got pregnant.. Then I just felt this sudden loss of attraction to him, I would think that he’s just some sweaty teenage boy, and I didnt want to sleep next to him. Sex would feel so good, so I just ignored what I felt, and closed my eyes. When I was giving him pleasure, it wasn’t fun anymore..  It doesn’t feel right to leave him because he genuinely loves me.

A year and 3 months later, you shared the teenage relationship that included you getting pregnant: “Five months into our relationship, I became pregnant and had an abortion. I was only 16.. It all was a lot for me and for him too, so I just blurted out that I didnt love him anymore, even though I knew I did, more than anything. I love him so much.. I wanted him back, and I told him I was going to change, and I did.. but then he almost started treating me the way I treated him… It’s been almost a year and now, he just flat out disrespects me and completely doesn’t care.. He broke up with me recently after I confronted him about commenting on another girls pic… It’s been 3 weeks since we seen each other”.

Back to your previous thread, at the end of 7 pages of communication, you (at 16) wrote in the last post you submitted to me, July 2020: “I don’t live with my awful dad anymore. I live with y grandparents. I have a job.. I make good money“, and I replied: “Here is what I suggest that you do: because you are making good money, seek quality professional help so to slow down your brain, so that you can think more positively and exercise more control over your emotions“.

You did not reply to that last post. I am guessing that you did not attend psychotherapy?

anita