Dear AP:

What if you send her a message, starting with your last line in the post you submitted to me: “Ultimately I just want inner peace and right now I do not feel that at all”, and ask her to help you to reach inner peace. Tell her that this inner peace that you need so much will help you be a better mother to your kids (since she seems to care for your kids, this statement may motivate her to answer you honestly and thoughtfully)-

– ask her all you need to ask her, keeping the stated goal in mind: inner peace, which means that you are willing to accept her truth, whatever it is. You just need to know what her truth is.

If you like this idea, and you need help to put together a message to email her, let me know, or otherwise let me know more of your thoughts.

anita