Watch this film. It’s called the Gift of Trauma. https://wisdomoftrauma.com/movie/?fbclid=IwAR1oKGyFVOg9ka0BXb7zw3YM3pLPI9BA02KAIbwAGkphFmJuRpEd2XqDxeI

Try this link if that doesn’t work: https://wisdomoftrauma.com/movie/

I’m watching it now. It’s very powerful. I’m not sure how long it stays free. It might be triggering though.

I’m glad you found Kristin Neff. Her resources are very helpful. Her books and workbooks are good too. I have one of her workbooks.

I’m so sorry you are being abused by your mom. This is horrible. And you feel stuck there.

I have no words for what you are going through and can’t imagine what it must be like. I feel so horrible for you. I wish I could say something to make it better but all I have to truly offer is that you’re not alone in this.

It’s not your fault that she’s abusing you. You did nothing wrong or to deserve it.

If it gets bad, there are hotlines and resources on Tiny Buddha’s free resources page.

I can’t give legal advice or tell you how to handle this situation in the eyes of the law, but it’s good to have a plan should she do things again. Be a step ahead.

If you can appeal to her, do that. Don’t fight fire with fire in the moment or trigger her. Try to distance yourself.

It may come in waves. She might act out then go back to normal often.

Share your pain with someone in your life. Talk to them. Talk to a therapist now. I can’t help you with the abusive situation but a therapist might have more resources and ideas. It’s creating new trauma and retraumatizing you.

I’m again so sorry you’re going through all this.

I have a narcissistic parent as well. I have an abusive past with boyfriends traumatizing me. I’ve been raped. I’ve been poor and struggled. But I’ve never been hit by a parent. I don’t know what that trauma is like and don’t know how I would handle that. I don’t think I could. I know what it’s like though to feel lost and lonely and confused and upset. I’m here for you. You are NOT alone in this.

You’re so proactive, it amazes me. Most people would be like “yeah I’ll check it out” and never do. You are actually helping yourself and reading stuff and learning about life.

I don’t have any other books or resources besides the movie I mentioned.

I wish I could help more. I see now why the positivity trick isn’t working. My trauma is all in the past. Yours is presently still unfolding. I see now why it worked for me and not for you.

What would you tell someone else in your position? start there. Self-compassion. That’s the best I can come up with.

Sarah