Dear Richard:

“My brother who is 3 years older than me was rather cruel to me growing up. He routinely made fun of my weight, physical appearance, and intelligence, among other things. He used to tell me I was the stupid one in the family…I.. have  nightmares about him every month..  pessimism seems to be the most constant factor. At times I fall asleep only to quickly awaken to a racing heart and fear that I will not find and secure a good fulltime job“-

– when you were a child, your brother was cruel to you. You wanted the cruelty to stop. You tried in many child-like ways to make him stop being cruel to you. Every time you tried, you hoped that the bullying will stop, and every time you hoped- you got disappointed, day after day, year after year. So you learned to no longer hope, and instead-  to expect the worse. This probably where you developed your pessimism.

Pessimistic about your brother treating you respectfully => Pessimistic about getting a suitable job.

Scared about the next time your brother will bully you, heart racing => Scared about not getting a suitable job, heart racing.

anita