Dear Damien:

Looks to me that she’s been telling you certain nice things (“I see a lot of changes in you”, “I am happy your life is changing to better”) because she means it, and because she feels guilty about you wanting to resume a relationship while she does not want that. She hates hurting your feelings. She wants you to be happy, not sad (“I just really want you find your own happiness”).

I now see 2 problems: (1) you are misunderstanding the nice things she told you to mean that she is partly interested in/ considering resuming a relationship with you, (2) you blame her depression for what she told you, as if she is not responsible for what she says. As if when she talks to you, it’s the depression talking, not her.

“I just don’t see any future together. You still need to do a lot of work. It’s been seven years. I just can’t anymore“, “I think it’s time to let each other go. I don’t think it’s possible for us to turn back together” –

– this is her talking, not her depression. I believe it is her talking and not her depression because depression sounds confused/ unsure, but she made herself very, very clear.

“If you really appreciate me, please just let me go. It will relief for both of us“- when she wrote this, she was almost begging you to let her go. She is telling you right here that if you leave her alone, she will feel a relief!

If you do appreciate her, then cancel your plan to travel to the Ukraine, send her back your key to her flat with a note saying: I do appreciate you. I understand that you want me to let you go. I am now letting you go. Goodbye, and I do wish you the best.

Following that, cease all contact with her.

anita