Dear DeJana,

you’re very welcome. It’s good to hear that you have a better relationship with your mother now, and that she is allowing you to wash the dishes or help with the household. So it wasn’t so much about you not being good enough in her eyes, but perhaps about her need to control her living space/her household, and through that, have some sense of control in her life?

There could be a similarity with your boyfriend, because he too suffers from obsessive behaviors. And most probably he too does it in an attempt to control his surroundings and that way, reduce his anxiety.

I have the same thoughts myself and a good friend of mine also has the opinion that I seek a man to guide me. Furthermore he finds that a lot of women he knows show this behavior. What do you think?

I think it depends also on the culture we are brought up in. In some cultures women are brought up to follow man’s guidance, in others not so much. It would be best if we could all learn (and be free) to follow our inner guidance, and make decisions based on that… We can ask mentors and coaches (and well-meaning family members and friends) for advice or opinion, but the final decision, specially in important issues in life, should come from within. At least that’s what I believe…

And my parents concerns with studying medicine were appropriate. It is not that I am not intelligent enough, but there are other parts of my personality that not quite fit in those stressful work ethics.

Are you still studying medicine? Do you see a possible field/specialization where your work wouldn’t be so very stressful?

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by Tee.