*continuation from the previous thread*

Have i been trying to be someone else all this time?
I remember in high school, the students who usually participate in competition are labelled as “awesome”… At that time i force myself to join my friends in a band competition…. In the end we didnt won… i only join so that i wont be left out as the “awesome” students, in which i dont really care that we lost… I really dislike joining a competition like that and i felt out of place that time…. I only join so people will praise me

At uni, i also joined a musical event and became one of the actors for that musical… i force myself to join… in which i actually dont like and i also felt out of place there…. I dont really like socializing with too many people… and in that event i really have to, i only join so that people will praise me as “awesome”.

And now after graduating uni, i see some of my friends are finding their own career to work at big corporations…. My brain keeps telling me to be like them… in which right now my situation is helping my family’s business (my family’s business isnt a large corporation)… my role in my family’s business right now is relaxing…. But my brain keeps telling me to not get left out and follow most people who’s trying to work at big corporations….

I’m so confused with myself, why am i trying so hard to be like most people and worried about being left out… it’s really frustrating…