Dear Jisoo,

whatever his intentions are, he isn’t sincere because he wouldn’t have been hiding his name from you, and wouldn’t be so mysterious about his life. He knows everything about you, and you know hardly anything about him. You confide in him as if he were your best friend and confidante, and he doesn’t even give you his real name?? He isn’t available in the evenings or on the weekends, which means he wants to keep you out of his private life – because clearly his private life is dedicated to other people. He might be leading a double or triple life, misleading maybe not just you but other women too. If I were you, I would be wary of him.

Regardless of how “caring” and “supportive” he might seem, he is a scam and who knows what kind of game he is playing. You say you’re confused that he doesn’t want anything from you, isn’t forcing you to sex, has endless patience and tolerance, even when you’re attacking him, never raises his voice, and only asks you to stay in touch with him no matter what.

There could be more explanations why he behaves like that. One is that he might feel unwanted in his marriage and he likes feeling important to you (but still, not important enough to leave his wife and have an exclusive relationship with you). Another is that he likes feeling superior to women, and targets fragile women whom he then “helps” and “guides”. Another, a more ominous one, is that he is a psychopath, because he keeps telling you that he’ll stay with you “until the end”. What end, indeed?

Even if the latter is not the case (I might be paranoid!), I’d stay away from him. I understand that you feel fragile after your husband’s sudden death (I am sorry about that), and that you like his supposed caring and guiding you in various matters. You also say you have an anxious attachment style, which makes it even harder for you to be alone. That’s why you are attracted to him and want so desperately to be with him. But he is a scam, I am afraid, and the best would be to stop all contact.