Dear Anita,

This isn’t a message written in urgence so you do not need to get out of your way to read or reply to this earlier than the other. Or at all, if you don’t feel like replying any of it.

At the moment I’m writing this it is 4am, and I’m having an an insomnia due to ingestion of alcohol. I knew it wasn’t a great idea and I didn’t really feel like it, but I let myself influenced and I now regret it. I hope writing it down will remind myself of being… less stupid, next time I have to make a decision about this.

I am though, tired of doing nothing of these hours of now unavoidable sleep deprivation. And I thought, since you like spontaneity, I might share with you that, as I am dealing with this insomnia and the stomach ache that goes with it… The ‘presence’ of our past and future conversations is helping me to cope, having something to think about and focus on is a nice distraction from pain.

Usually, I would have comforted myself with fictional characters, they make me less lonely during those times. But lately I am a bit cut off of my daydreaming with them, and your presence was more accessible to my brain, so… It went like that. I hope the idea I might think about our talks like this, in a comforting way isn’t something that would make you uncomfortable. If so, please tell me and I will make the necessary effort to have my fictional comfort more accessible for next times.

Keeping in mind I hope I’ll be strong enough for not having ‘that’ specific kind of next time.

Linarra