Dear Jisoo,

Yes, I misunderstood you regarding your father’s behavior, because I assumed that he was the one guilty for sexually harassing you when you were a young girl. I made the wrong assumption because of a few things you said: you said you feel safer with any man than you do with your father, and also that you were in a situation where you were helpless, and that it’s difficult to fight own family members.

Based on all that, I assumed it was your father who is responsible for sexual harassment, and not other men. But true, you never said he was the one who harassed you when you were a young girl. You only said he would gaze at you with sexual undertones and made some comments, when you were staying at their place after the death of your husband. I apologize for making a wrong assumption.

As for the man having the need to disappear – I thought that you might have been too much for him at times, and that’s why he had the need to reduce contact and “disappear” on you during the weekends, for example. Like, he had a need to check out and take a rest from you. But that was again just an assumption, which might not be true, because you say his mother wasn’t a demanding person. I mean, you don’t know much about her, just that she was feminine and motherly. Perhaps you do remind him of her?

I really don’t want to speculate, it’s hard to understand his intentions. But for this or that reason, he probably has a fear of commitment… I was trying to understand his hot and cold behavior, and came up with one possible explanation – that you remind him of his mother – which might not be true.