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Dear nice_cup_of_tea,
you are welcome, and I am glad you’ve checked in! It’s great you’re aware of your tendency to get upset and overreact. So just keep observing yourself and perhaps make a pause when you feel the tension inside you rising, and take a few deep breaths. As they say, this helps you to respond rather than react impulsively.
Also, realizing that anger can also be a healthy and useful emotion is also super important. It’s okay to feel angry at people violating you and crossing your boundaries, and you have the right to protect yourself from that!
Glad to hear the visit to your in-laws went well, and that you could observe your mother-in-law and understand where her behavior is coming from. That will help you have some empathy for her, but as you said, it doesn’t mean you have to tolerate abuse – you can still set boundaries and keep a healthy distance.
I love the internal family systems therapy too, so definitely, give it a go if it resonates!