Dear Jisoo,

this is new information, which sheds a different light on him:

So he leaves office at 6 pm his time and switches off the phone. I can never reach him on my own. He is the one who initiates and ends our contact timings. At the same time, he was very demanding of my time when he is available.. calling multiple times if I don’t pick up.. constantly texting.

This shows that he used you: when it suited him, he kept the communication going, even demanding it from you and being impatient when you didn’t respond immediately. But then, he’d switch off his phone and wouldn’t be available. It’s almost like he let you partake of his “grandeur” (his empathy, his wisdom, his charm…), and then left you hanging. Sounds pretty narcissistic to me…

If so, I guess he felt good about himself when he could impress you and knock you off your feet, when you saw him as your savior, when you adored him and craved his presence. This gave him a sense of importance, a sense of grandeur. Once he “drank” enough of your admiration, he then retreated to his private corners.

Btw many narcissists can’t really live with anyone else, they usually live alone (even if they are in a relationship), and I think it’s because they can’t bear to show their true selves, their everyday, imperfect selves. So they put up a front (like this guy was always charming, patient and understanding with you), but they can’t keep doing that for too long, they need to take off their mask and recuperate in their private space. So this might explain his hot and cold behavior…